feel so not happy with this

recently i dont feel like wanna go back home,
or i dont even want to stay at home,
just wanna be with some one or go some where else rather thn stay at home...
it is because my mum finish her work and come back ad...
not because i dont wan she at home,
just dont know what happen to her,
so 无理取闹,
act she is not the first time like that,
but i start to cnt tahan she like that,
mybe is because i become not so tough compare to previous,
when i told him about what my mum had said to me,
and my feeling after i heard those things,
he told me that "she is ur only mother, have to 忍 her...."
when i heard that,
i really cnt control my tears for rolling down on my face,
i feel so stress, so sad, and so TIRED~
i not din 忍 before seriously,
just time by time,
i feel so tired to do all this thing,
i just hope that i can have a happy family although i had lost my father since i was young,
because i still have my mum and my brother...
but i dont know why they will felt what i did was i should do it for them for no reason...
no matter what i do,
will be the wrong for them,
i will get scold by them although i did the correct way....
in her heart just feel im a naughty girl,
always had a lot events in the college,
and not really studying in the college...
but she dont know the real reason why i had so many event in the college??
i olso dont wan make myself so tired, so stress...
but i wan myself to gain more experience and i wan to gain more money,
i dont wan myself to become ur 负担，
every time u ask me whether i enough pocket money or not,
although i not enough i olso wont let u,
i will go get myself....
this why make me dont feel like going back home,
i feel so stress and tired at home......
you told me that become our mother very tired,
on that time,
i really wan to shout out loud,
I ALSO VERY TIRED!!!
i dont feel like wanna go back home,
i just feel wan to be with you.....
if can,
i really want to be with you ALL THE TIME....><
i not dont love my mum,
i love her,
but she make me feel so tired,
NOW!
you are the only one who care about me,
and the one i wan to be with....
i think you know who you are.....

the day i miss you so much

recently i'm worry about something,
which is i realize i vry depend on you,
i cnt control to find u every where when u are not with me,
i cnt control myself to be with you no matter when...

but i try my best to control myself.....

i know i have to force myself to do it even i dont wan to....
because i dont hope that i will become a trouble maker to you...
i dont wish that i bring a lot trouble to you...
i dont wan you feel no freedom.........
i know when i should be with you,
when i should do my stuff without you.....
i din feel like this way before,
i ad use to every night we talk in skype,
when you din talk with me,

i feel so bored, feel so lonely...

i trying to find other stuff to do to make myself busy,
then my mind will stop thinking bout you...
but zhi wei they all wil keep mention you while i chat with them,

this make me miss you more...><

i though i found a way can make myself miss u lesser,
which is i listen those song that you like,
then it will remind me back you sing in the funny way....
but when i sleep,
i listen to song after i wake up,

i miss you more!

when i miss you more, i feel more scare..
i scare you will feel bored to me,
i scare if some day something happen,
i will vry hard to walk out....
i cnt imagine that if someday you go some place that i cnt find u...
i cnt see u...
what am i on that time......
i hope that u wont leave me alone in the future.....
today something happen with me and my family...
on that time,i just remain silent and my mind was thinking about you...><
i dont know what happen to me...

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!><

personal developement skill.....XP

today is the first class of PDS 2...
luckily our lecturer change ad, not dr.ding anymore....
today what i study was characteristic VS perculiar,
what i understand was perculiar is the habit u have that is not good to other people...
mean like u r forcing the person to accept ur habit.....
 i admit that i have a lot perculiar inside me,
such as...i vry punctual.....punctual act is a good habit,
but i not only punctual, i will come early 10 min.....
and this make my friend feel so stress about it.....
im so sorry for that, i will try to change myself....
another thing is......i got mysophobia....><
i hate people make me dirty,
i will use a lot tissue especially when i eat.....
if some1 make me dirty, i will go crazy....><
i trying to not so care bout it, but it really hard for me....
and i vry choosy for my pen,
i got my particular pen brand...
if i use other brand i will feel not so comfortable and i will feel my hand writing vry ugly,
at the end i will not statisfied with my work.....
but this habit im trying to change it....XP...
HIEW KAI YAN!dont be so choosy!!!haha....
this wad i learn today..haha....
i should change myself ad...XP

new experience after be with you~

this is the new experience that i face,
first time feel so nervous after u told me that mybe wan have dinner with you family.
it is because i scare i will give a bad impression to your parents,
that's why i feel nervous.
before that i plan to make a cake for you,
but i did not expect today is your daddy birthday,
when you told me,
i was like "WOW~~~~so ngam geh??"
if the cake is for you,
i wont feel so nervous and shame with my product,
just is because for your daddy,
i have no idea what to write, what to draw.
my brain was blank that time~
haha......
its a quite good experience for me,
i feel so happy that i can make a cake to your daddy,
although it is so ugly and just like a children drawing scale,
but that is came out all my heart to draw it~
hope that you and you family will like it~^^
i promise you that will make a cake that is just for YOU~~~^^

LAST!!!UNCLE!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!ALWAYS 18!!!^^

p.s//i know the cake is quite small, because i din expect those thing happen~haha...and i forgt d size is so small although i did it one time~XP