记忆 （Memory）

亲眼看着自己的妈妈自杀。。。
看着她吃安眠药的数量一天一天的增加。。。
看着妈妈在厕所呕吐的样子。。。。
这些都是妈妈在我童年的时候留给我的记忆。。。
这些记忆忽然的在我脑海里一幕一幕的闪过。。。。
有多少人知道我的身世？？
她们只知道在我很小的时候就失去爸爸，其他的事情一点也不知道。。。
那也是因为我不想说，不想记起来。。。
我把我所有不愉快的记忆全锁在我心里的最深处，不想有人去碰到这个伤心的地带。。。
有多少人像我一样有过这些难过的记忆啊？
那时候的我认为这些更本不是我这个年纪该承受的。。。
到了现在我还认为我现在承受的压力或事情更本不是我这个年纪该去承受的。。。。
可是有时得我会觉得如果我没有过这样的人生，我很可能没有现在那么倔强。。。
我现在的性格都是我一直累积下来的。。。。
现在，
我妈妈离开我身边了。
或许也因为妈妈不在我身边，那些记忆才慢慢的呈现出来。。。
“妈，我很想你！”
这一句话我从来不敢说，
因为我没勇气说。。。
可是我现在很想告诉你，妈。。。。
“我真的很想你！辛苦了。。。”
妈。。。我爱你
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Watched my mother committed suicide......
Looking at her number of sleeping pills to increase day by day......
Looked at the mother's appearance in the toilet vomiting.....
These are in my childhood when my mother left my memory.......
Suddenly those memories in my mind were mere flash.......
How many people know that my life experience？？
They only know that when I was a little loss of dad, they do not know other things.....
That is because I do not want to say, do not want to remember......
I put all my unpleasant memories all locked in the depths of my heart, do not want anyone to encounter this sad area.......
How many like me had these sad memories？
I think the time was more my age this is not the bear........
Up to now I still think I'm the pressure or something more this is not my age to go bear......
But sometimes I would feel if I were not such a life, I may not be so stubborn now.......
My personality is I have now accumulated.......
Now,
My mother left me .
Perhaps it is because mom was not around me, those memories are fully revealed only slowly....
"Mom, I miss you!"
I have not said these words，
Courage to say because I did not.....
But I want to tell you, Mom.....
"I really miss you....."
mum......I love you......